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Dec 2  All in all this has been a pretty good week.  Radiation every day but no chemo.  This morning Steve Stone and his two sons, Liam and Logan, brought over a load of firewood for us, already split, and stacked it.  So now we won't freeze this winter. Thanks guys.  

Later today I was starting to feel a bit run down - more than usual - and got light headed a couple of times so I went to the infusion center and got a liter of go-juice, so I feel better this afternoon.  Although I can tell the radiation is taking its toll because it seems that each day I have a little less energy.  Also another major event today.  When we got up this morning Maria said that, between me and our cat (Dandy), she had a mouth full of hair all night.  When I looked I found I had a hair pillow, too.  Most of what was left seemed to come out in the shower and stuck to my beard, since I didn't shave.  I looked like a werewolf.  Tired of having it fall out into my mouth, soup, lap, etc., I bit the bullet and Maria gave me a buzz.  I found that I'm even better looking without hair than with it.  I didn't think it was possible.  So, we will post a picture of the new me here soon - when I gather the courage!  Stay tuned.

Dec. 6 John managed to get through radiation with only one x-ray today. That’s a good thing. He’s pretty tired, though. It’s hard for him to get energized to do much and he welcomes a chair after a short walk.

Dr. S, the oncologist, met with us today. I really like him. He listens carefully to John and always checks out any symptom that presents itself. He takes his time to evaluate how the medicine is working and comes up with ways to alleviate any discomfort John experiences. Yesterday, he prescribed some pain medicine for John to use if he had any more headaches, but since he didn’t actually speak to us himself, he made sure his nurse reassured us that the headache was probably not related to any worsening of the cancer. Today, he explained that the pain in John’s shoulder and back could well be due to swelling caused by the radiation treatments.

Dr. S comes across as a pretty serious guy, but while we were in the waiting room we could hear and see a lot of laughing commotion, clapping, and bell-ringing going on behind the reception desk. A lady came out grinning and told her husband that she had rung the bell! Apparently, it’s a traditional send-off celebration that Dr. S and his staff put on for someone who has passed their 5-year cancer-free anniversary. Cool. I can’t wait for John to be ringing that bell!

Dec. 8 John and I slept in a little this morning, as he’d had a really good night’s sleep. After we woke up, we lay in bed and watched the most beautiful purple and orange sunrise behind our tall firs in the back yard. A lovely way to start the morning! After a light breakfast, we met Michael and Mo at Lava Java for some delicious lattes before heading out in gloves and boots to find our Christmas tree. We located a new (to us) lot where we found beautiful, uncultured noble firs. We enjoyed a chilly walk in the forest and picked out our tree, which put me in the Christmas mood. After John’s radiation appointment, he was tired and ready to watch the news, beside a crackling fire, while I started putting up the inside Christmas decorations. It was a lovely, cozy ending to the week.

Tomorrow, John and Bonnie McCollister are going to drop by for a little visit and then, on Sunday, Jeff plans to come down from Olympia to watch football with John.

Dec. 9  I held up fairly well this last week.  Blood levels were surprisingly good, and other than this damned pain in my back/shoulder, feel pretty good.  I start my chemo again on Monday and will finish up on the following Monday (the 18th).  This round will likely be harder, since I'm starting from a lower point.  But, only 8 more days for this round.  Then a few weeks off and we see where to go from there.

On the lighter side, I got an email the other day from a good friend who, upon seeing the picture of Eddy and me with shaved heads was moved to shave his.  He wrote the following:  "So I was catching up on your diary last night and saw the AWESOME picture with Eddy - what a guy!  I was so inspired that I ran upstairs, grabbed a razor and faced the mirror, alas only to find that I already had joined "the club."  However, being the tenacious guy I am I decided to instead shave my legs - and man do I feel terrific!  It makes me want to sing and dance!  So stay tuned for that picture..."  Steve Stone might not like it if I associated the quote above with his name...so I won't.  So, it's not too late for you to demonstrate your solidarity and be a part of the growing fan club.  All you need do is shave your head (or any other part of your body) and send me a picture (within the bounds of good taste of course) and I will enter your name into the growing registry of members, send you an autographed club cue ball, and tell you the club secret handshake.

Dec. 11 John has been in rare form all day, kidding with the nurses and holding court with the gang of visitors (see the diary page). It's good to see him feeling so well! I took off and left him to his visitors while I got some errands done. Only five more days of treatment to go and then we wait to see what the results are. Both doctors have explained that both treatments will continue to have effects on the tumor and on the rest of John's body for several weeks after the treatments end. At this point, it seems that the rest of his body is siding with the docs and ganging up on that tumor! As we've noted before, he is "strong, like bull!" I know that a lot of his fight comes from the incredible support of all his friends and family. He has a lot to fight for! :-)

Dec. 11  Today was the start of the 2nd round of chemo. It was a long day of radiation, doctor appointments, and IVs. We started at 7:40 and got home about 5:15 tonight. It seems the infusion center had a visit from Santa today and they asked if I would be willing to be in the picture they take for their brochure or newsletter. I saw right through the ruse, but signed the release anyhow, and you see the results. Those Infusion Nurses!  Sure, they are skilled.  Sure, they are professional. And sure, they are sincere, caring, and compassionate. But THIS!?  Imagine the trouble they had to go through to fake this whole Santa thing just to get to sit by me for a minute and have their picture taken with me. Shameless! Anyhow, the picture looks great and maybe now they will quit pushing and shoving to see who gets to be assigned to me each day.  Did I mention that they are all beautiful too? 

Dec. 12  An easy day today.  A quick alignment of the "rack of many tortures" by Brunhilda (AKA Deanna) and her willing accomplice, Igor (AKA Eric).  Then, after birthday acknowledgements, they turned on the rads and, laughing maniacally, shipped me off to the infusion center.  Strangely, the infusion nurses were no longer fighting over me. Hmmmm?  But they did gather for a singing of Happy Birthday and presented me with a delicious chocolate muffin with a single candle - which I was successful in both extinguishing and consuming.  After a fairly quick infusion of Etoposin, zyrofram, spayline, Lorwhozapam, bilge water, and snake oil, they whisked me out into the world...alone...to fend for my self.  I didn't do very well at that, fully running a red light, almost not stopping for another one, and plunging off a country road into a field shortly before reaching home.  I haven't been the same since the radiation.  Maria said she is going to revoke my driver's license for a week or so.  At any rate, I couldn't have gotten a ticket because I forgot my wallet at home and didn't have my driver's license.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hee....te hee...uh?  where am I??

Dec. 12  It was John's birthday today and while he was at the infusion center (and goofing off on the road! :-{) I had some time to take care of home and prepare for his birthday dinner. Lynn and Phil came over and so did Eddy, Julie, Zachary, and Rob & Paula Jones. John had a good time and was glad to be the center of attention for a change. ;-)

Dec. 16  Well, it's the weekend and I'm through until Monday with radiation and chemo.  My last round of chemo (and probably radiation) will be on Monday.  That's all that's planned for now.  We will make the decision on Monday whether or not I can tolerate another round of Cisplatin (the preferred course) or will have to switch.  The Cisplatin is tough on the kidneys.  Anyone got a spare or two they can loan me?  Then we will evaluate and see where to go from here.  It could be one of several options which I'll discuss with you all later.  Our power went off about 7:00 Thursday night and was off all day yesterday.  But I'm feeling good today after a nice hot shower and looking forward to taking it easy and no trips to the hospital (as much as I love you all down there!).  Last night I started into that dehydration phase that I went through last time so will likely have to go in tomorrow for a fill up. Also, the most aggravating thing is the lack of taste which pretty much makes anything that isn't sweet or very salty taste like... well, it doesn't taste good.  Almost makes me gag.  So I don't have much appetite and don't eat a lot.  Maria has been great tolerating my yens for foods I think I might enjoy only to serve them up and find that I can't eat them. 

So, I want to thank you all again for the emails, phone calls, offers of help, food, and encouragement.  It has meant so much to Maria and me. We are so lucky to have so many great friends. And we are so looking to get this thing behind us so we can visit with each of you again and try to repay the many kindnesses you've all shown.

Dec. 16 We surely are grateful for all the care everyone shows us on a daily basis! John has really done well throughout this treatment regimen and it is because of all the love, prayers, and good energy everyone is sending us. The nurses at the infusion center filled John up with saline yesterday, so hopefully, he can make it through till Monday without an IV, though his kidneys are doing their "bypass" thing and dehydrating him. This is about the same point in the treatment where that syndrome started last time, but at least we know what to do about it now!

We are planning to have a much needed rest this weekend. John wants to veg in front of whatever football games are on TV and I plan to have a whole day in my studio tomorrow, at last! Today, it's been catching up with holiday preparations, housecleaning, and a movie with Paula this afternoon.

Dec. 17 John lost another 5# last night and was very dizzy this morning, so our plans changed and we spent a couple of hours at the hospital getting a two liter IV for him. They had a hard time getting his blood pressure to even register; no wonder he was so dizzy and weak! He felt a lot better after the infusion and we stopped to pick up some fried chicken, coleslaw, and Cherry Garcia ice cream for lunch. As Lynn noted recently, it's like having a pregnant woman in the house! The cravings are specific, when they come, though they don't always taste as good as he imagines they will. This time, though, he ate heartily and remarked that it was the first time in a long time that he's been able to eat enough to actually feel full. He is still very tired  and a little dizzy, even after the IV. I imagine his red blood count has continued to drop. We'll probably be doing the every-other-day IV drill for the rest of this week and then, maybe, his ability to handle liquids will level out as it did last time.

Tomorrow, we're hoping to actually learn something from the doctors about what and when the next step will be.

Dec. 18 Woo HOO! Today was the last day of treatments for awhile, though we already plan to go in for an IV on Wednesday (and maybe tomorrow, too, as John has lost more liquid than they gave him today). We met with all the doctors and John even got a little "graduation" certificate from the radiation techs. Michael and Maureen visited at lunch time and brought fresh halibut and chips, which John had been craving. It was a good call! He ate a lot, which he needs to do.

John fell asleep as soon as he got home and is already feeling dizzy, in addition to the extreme tiredness he's felt the past two or three days. Everybody thinks the tiredness is due to the cumulative effects of radiation and chemo and that it will persist for a few weeks more. So far, though, his blood levels are still "untouched" by the chemo (Dr. S's word). His white cells are still in normal range and the reds and hemoglobin are only a little depressed. Dr. S wondered today, "Where do they make guys like you?!" Good question. Man, was I lucky to find the only one they did make! :-) We're settling in for a quiet evening of Monday night football, if John can keep his eyes open! ;-)

Dec. 20  Thanks Fred!  Last night we had a little electrical disaster at our rental duplex that had to be dealt with and I wasn't up to it at all.  So a quick call to Fred Olney and he came over and picked Maria up and they went over and got it fixed.  What a great friend!  Sorry about calling you into action on such a cold night Fred.  But thanks a ton!

Dec. 22 Suddenly, life got interesting yesterday. After John passed out Wednesday night (see diary entry), he continued to feel dizzy whenever he stood up, so he took the stairs to bed on his hands and knees. In the morning, he was too dizzy to walk. We rolled him out to the car in his office chair and headed off to the infusion center for another IV. When he arrived upstairs, the nurses plugged him into the saline bag while we waited for Dr. S to evaluate. Although John has had a 2-liter IV every day this week, he still is dehydrated, somehow, causing his blood pressure to remain low and to sink even further when he stands up.

After they infused John with nearly 4 liters of saline and some albumen (to attract the liquid into the blood stream), his blood pressure just wouldn’t come up and remain stable, so Dr. S admitted him to the hospital where they can keep an eye on him. The kidney specialist the doctor called in says it's just that same weird side-effect John experienced before: his kidneys are passing whatever liquid he takes in right straight through him. The doctor is sure the kidneys will repair themselves, he just doesn't know when. I'm actually relieved that they are keeping him where he can stay hooked up to the IV, flushing his kidneys and keeping them from being damaged by the chemo drugs he still has in his system.

I guess we were spoiled by how John sailed through all the treatments. The nurse said yesterday that it was the first time he'd looked sick since she’d met him. He certainly was a sick puppy yesterday, but is feeling better today. In fact, he already has all the nurses on his hospital unit wrapped around his little finger! He’s also feeling well enough to be bored, so I’m  hopeful he’ll be home this weekend. We are planning a quiet Christmas and then some of the kids are coming for “Boxing Day” on Tuesday. We wish a Merry Christmas to all of you and a Happy New Year!

Dec. 23 All I want for Christmas is my sweetheart to come home! :-( But the doctors won't let him out yet, as his blood pressure still drops like a rock whenever he stands up. He's bummed at having to stay in the hospital where the food is not appealing (mostly because it hurts to swallow and nothing tastes good after the first bite). Plus, there's nothing to do. He has every kind of toy imaginable there, but isn't in the mood for any of them. If we could only rig up a little trout pond, we might spark some interest. . . hmmmm. Unfortunately, it's so hard for him to talk that he really isn't up to having visitors or phone calls that last more than about 3 minutes. Garth and Annie sent gingerbread houses home with Rob, so John and I decorated them today. We made a snowdrift out of a hospital pillowcase and put them up on the shelf where he can see them. That project really cheered him (and the nurses) for a little while. I'm still keeping my hopes up that he'll be released tomorrow. If not, maybe Santa and I will have to spring him!

Dec. 24 Alas, John is still in the hospital this Christmas Eve. He was feeling better today and thinks his blood pressure is slowly beginning to stabilize, but until he can make it through a day without needing 4 liters of saline, he must stay put. No matter! It will be Christmas when he gets home! :-) Dr. S prescribed some magic potion which numbs the pain in his esophagus so he can swallow more comfortably. So far, though, no one has a fix for the way food tastes. If it weren't for chocolate pudding, cream of wheat, and milk shakes, he'd starve! I wonder how he keeps such a good attitude, but you poker friends know he was always one to play the hand he's dealt!

Dec. 25 It looks like Santa found John hiding at the hospital! Here he is, with his Christmas stocking and his buddy, the infusion robot. We spent most of the day watching football games, but John felt better after a shower and a change into "real" clothes, so we took a walk around the hospital, just to get out of that stuffy little room for awhile. Since John still can't stand for more than about 30 seconds, I wheeled him. On our tour through the cafeteria, he was really turned off by the smells. He reminded me that losing one of your senses can intensify the remaining ones and remarked that his sense of smell is quite heightened since he's lost his sense of hair!

Dec. 26 John still can't get the doctors to give him a pass out of the hospital! Lynn hung out with him today and then I went over in time to have dinner with him this evening. He actually had more energy tonight than he had yesterday. When I left him, he said he was going to stay up all night and study for his blood test. He's under a lot of pressure to pass, you see. OK, I know you're all cringing, but he made me promise to put that in when I did the update tonight.

Dec. 27 John's blood pressure is slowly starting to come up, it seems. He's putting out less than he's taking in and is able to stand for longer periods. He's down to 2 liters of saline a day, still given over 24 hours. Maybe we've turned a corner! The doctor thinks he may be able to come  home on Friday and have his IVs done here. They need to schedule a radiologist to put in a picc line and then they can show us how to hook him up at home. Needless to say, his spirits are much improved at the possibility! We'll have a day for him to readjust (and do all the little niggling computer-type things he's been worrying about all week) and then all the kids will be here on Sunday for our belated Christmas. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out as he hopes!

Dec. 28 Doctor S. still seems to think John may come home tomorrow. We're still keeping our fingers crossed! John had a bad neck and headache today, probably from lying in that hospital bed so long! We got our own blood pressure cuff to use at home and tried it out on John tonight. Assuming it's accurate, his blood pressure is improving! We're going to try it right after they measure him tomorrow and see how it compares with the hospital machine.

Dec. 29 Rats! John is still in the hospital. The doctor wanted to try him for one day without fluids and see if he could hold enough liquid to raise his blood pressure. Luckily, his headache went away this afternoon and the Beavers beat Missouri in a dramatic last minute play, so all's well in the world. We have our hopes up that John will come home tomorrow morning. I guess we aren't the only ones hoping! Steve Stone found this article concerning John: Battle Ground Rally

Dec. 31 I'm Baaaaaack! Maria "sprang" me yesterday after nine days in the SW Washington Medical Center and Gulag where I was undergoing rehab for a wayward kidney and missing blood pressure. All's not well yet, but on the mend I hope. Anyhow,  I'll update everyone soon. In the Meantime, Maria and I wish you all a safe, happy, and healthy New Year!