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Jan. 3, 2007 See the Diary page today for John's word on whazzup!
Jan. 5, 2007 John not only saw Dr. S yesterday, but also stopped in for an extra liter of saline to get through the weekend. The Infusion Center nurses were all glad to see him and took care that he was warm and comfortable, as always. Because of the anemia, he's really tired and any little effort wears him out. He always seems to be cold these days, so relaxing under a heated blanket while getting his IV feels good.
Today, he spent the day catching up on computer stuff while I worked on a sculpture in my studio. Tom and Laurie Iverson are going to stop by in awhile, on their way northward. It'll be nice to visit with them, though John's recurrent headache is back this evening. Unless he feels like another IV in a day or two, we're treading water till the PET scan on Tuesday.
Jan. 7, 2007 Well, it's Sunday and I've managed to get by since last Thursday without any additional infusions and my weight seems stable so apparently my kidneys are starting to recover. Pretty uneventful couple of days - which is a good thing. I watched a little (okay, a lot) of football this weekend and, since I didn't need to be watched every minute, Maria got a chance to do some major work on her new sculpture. Michael returned my truck that he borrowed and brought it back full of wood from the coast. Lynn and Phil came over this afternoon and Phil and Michael unloaded and stacked the firewood in the pouring rain. Thanks guys! Although I'm not getting dizzy as much or as easily, I continue to be very tired as a result of the anemia. I go in on Tuesday a.m. for my PET scan so, as of midnight tonight no carbs in my diet and nothing to eat after midnight tomorrow - and I was just getting some of my appetite back! If I'm up to it tomorrow, Maria and I are going to the coast for the day to check on the cabin and air me out a bit. We will take her new car of course, and Maria will drive since, with the weakness and the "chemo head", I don't feel like I'm alert enough or have good enough reactions to be driving yet.
Note to Tom and Laurie: Thanks for the visit and Gumbo delivery. It was great and, as of tonight, is all gone! Loved the Louisiana Hot Sauce "Love Potion No. 9." Now where did I put my fire extinguisher?
Jan. 11, 2007 Nothing very exciting to report. I'm still in "recovery" mode from the last round of chemo. Although, I took my standing blood pressure this morning and it was very good (130/81) which is encouraging. Maybe my kidneys are just about repaired. They've been through a lot. I'll send them a thank you note. I thought I had a Dr. appointment today to find out the results of the PET Scan but it must have been my chemo-head acting up again. Maria informs me that it's next week. So, unless one of the doctors calls me today or tomorrow, I won't know anything until next week. Also, I got a letter from the ENT doctor that I went to when I lost my voice. He said whenever I'm ready I can come in and he can give me a shot in the larynx that will improve my voice for 3-4 months. Or there's a relatively minor operation in which a piece of Gortex is inserted into the larynx which would substantially improve my voice by forcing more air through the working side. But it requires and overnight stay in the hospital and I'm not into that right now. I'll talk to Dr. S about that next week.
I am feeling very good this morning after a decent night's sleep and am buoyed by the beautiful blanket of snow around our house and the prospect of sunshine for a few days. I'd better go and fill the bird feeders before the little guys get angry and revolt. Take care and enjoy the sunshine.
Jan 13, 2007 I've been feeling fairly good the last couple of days, but no significant improvement. Perhaps I expect too much too soon? I seem to be sleeping a lot better but I'm still having trouble with swallowing and occasional dizziness. About the time I start to actually feel better, they'll probably slam me with some more chemo. I'm pretty lethargic around the house. With the anemia, I get tired very quickly when I walk or climb the stairs. I'm actually exhausted when I get out of the shower. One thing I can do and really enjoy is watching the birds at our feeders. With the cold weather it's been really fun since they are thirsty, cold, and hungry. We saw a new species today - a Townsend's warbler - which I've never seen in our back yard before. It's a bright, beautiful bird. They usually hang out in the woods and are fairly secretive. That brings me to 30 species viewed from the house. Even had 5 mourning doves today and a the second sighting of a varied thrush for the year. Mostly though it's chickadees, purple finches, pine siskins, spotted towhees, nuthatches, and song sparrows - and lots of them.
Maria has been "power-sculpting" these last few days. She's nearing completion of a really great sculpture. It's nice that she doesn't have to be with me 24-7 right now and has time to do her thing. Soon enough I'll require more attention I suspect. In the meantime, I'm occupying myself with naps, the computer, football playoffs, bird watching, and reading. This might be a lot like retirement only without so much fishing (for the time being).
Jan 15, 2007 Maria and I saw the surgeon today and the bottom line was that he doesn't think the tumor is operable, which we thought would be the outcome. The good news was that the tumor appears to have been responsive to the treatment and most of it, except for a couple of pesky spots, is dead. We meet with the radiologist and oncologist later this week and should have the full picture by the end of the week. For additional info go to the diary.
Jan 15, 2007 Waiting is the hardest part. Imaginations run wild and we wonder what every little ache or pain means. What is the tumor doing today? Is the fact that it's been a month since the last treatment giving it a chance to regrow again? Newspaper articles about probable outcomes for lung cancer, etc. We have to keep focused on the fact that this is no ordinary "lung cancer" (not that any of the million varieties are "ordinary") and that the treatment has been aggressive. John's body needs time to rebuild after that, too. He's very tired, due to the anemia and it's hard to always look at the bright side when you feel like you can't do much. Nevertheless, he finds all sorts of ways to help me, even though he doesn't give himself much credit for it! He is a remarkable person (no news to those who have known him lots longer than I) and I am constantly impressed by the deep well of resources he draws upon to keep his chin up throughout this journey. Today we meet with the surgeon to see what the PET scan showed. We don't have very high hopes that we'll learn a lot or have a clear direction after that meeting, but it's the first step. We'll keep you posted on the outcome!
Jan 17, 2007 Today we met with Dr. H, the "Nucular" medicine man. As usual, some good news and some not so good news. The good news is that he thinks we've done a pretty good job on the initial tumor and is not inclined to treat it with more radiation at this time. The not so good news is that the PET scan lit up a small subcutaneous spot on my left flank which coincides with a little bump that has been kind of sore for a week or so. Dr. H was suspicious and called Dr. S and they agreed it should be biopsied. He said sometimes this type of tumor will spread in this way and we need to see if it's a malignancy or something else --- like an alien. If it is malignant he said we can radiate it or maybe remove it. No schedule for the biopsy yet. Friday I meet with Dr. S, the oncologist, and we will likely know what the schedule is for the rest of the chemo. So, we continue to play the waiting game. On the brighter side, I am feeling better now that I am a month past the chemo. The improvement is not noticeable on a daily basis perhaps, but overall feeling better and eating better. Maria and I remain optimistic. Having gone through this before, I know there are always some hitches and glitches. We just have to deal with them one at a time. As always, if you want more info, click on Go to Diary.
Jan 18, 2007 Dr. Ss, the surgeon, squeezed John in for a biopsy of that lump on his left flank, though decided to leave the one on his shin alone for the moment, since that is a part of the body that would take longer to heal. Probably a good idea for circulation reasons, too. More details on the Diary page
Jan 19, 2007 Maria made me put this post on! She said, would you please tell friends and family that you are now beyond the need for "comfort food" (cupcakes, pies, lasagna, chocolates, etc). I think it has more to do with her inability to resist these delightful treats than my desire for them. Anyhow, I said it, so there! But thanks to all that have provided so many good things over the past several months. I hope we will be able to repay the kindnesses soon.
Jan 19, 2007 We met with Dr. S, the oncologist, this morning. Still no news about yesterday's biopsy, though he said they may hear something by this afternoon, so we'll probably hear about it next week. However, John's blood levels are all normal, including his red cells, which probably explains why he's been feeling good yesterday and today. We meet again with Dr. S next Thursday, by which time he'll have a plan for when to start chemo again. He agrees that surgery is out and it looks like they are going to hold off on Cyberknife or any other form of radiation for awhile, as Dr. H can only guess at how much more radiation John can take in that area. Dr. S is not constrained by that limit, so he'll have some kind of chemo planned for whenever they determine what the flank and shin lumps are. All the doctors seem to think that the tumor has been severely stunted and that whatever parts are still viable will not grow quickly, so there's time to keep an eye on it and recheck with a PET scan in a few weeks. In the meantime, John is interested in getting together with Dr. Sh (yet another S doc!), the Ear-Nose-and-Throat guy, to fix his vocal chord so that he doesn't have to wear himself out when trying to talk. The oncologist indicated that we are on a long enough "break" right now to allow that procedure.
Jan 22, 2007 No health news to report over the weekend other than I'm feeling a little better all the time. Friday Lynn and Phil came over. Phil caught a steelhead on his new Spey fly rod down below the house. Sunday, Steve and Ann Smith came over and we watched football games - one good and one not so good - chatted a lot, and looked through a few boxes of antique fishing lures that Steve brought over. Maria finished her big sculpture and started a smaller new one. And, we sat on the deck for a bit today and enjoyed the sunshine and warmth. Life is good.
Jan 26, 2007 Sorry to be so tardy in updating, but my monitor went out a couple of days ago and the computer isn't much good without it. Today I bought a new flat screen and am back in business.
So, we got some not very good news last Wednesday night. Dr. S called me about 6 p.m. to say he had just gotten the pathology report from the Biopsy (see Jan 18) and the lump was cancerous. If there's a good part of this, it's that it was small and that the surgeon took most, if not all of it out. Today I started the next round of chemotherapy as earlier planned. This stuff is not supposed to be as tough (I hope) as the last one was. It's called Docetaxel, one of the Taxol drugs. If you're interested, you can find out more about the drug and it's side effects at http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Docetaxel.
Since I've been feeling better, we've had a number of visitors the last few days. Pete Hassemer (IDFG) stopped and brought us some Polish sausage and aged cheddar from Wisconsin. Bill Tweit (ODFW) came by yesterday on his way back to Olympia and we had we had a nice 3-hour visit and did some bird watching over a couple of beers. Annie Griffin was over to visit Maria today and they did girlie things and made plans to do a bunch more. My lovely daughter came over early this morning and took me for my chemo, then to buy a new monitor for the 'puter, and then to son Michael's place to visit him and check on the progress on his new house. Another of Maria's friends is coming over tomorrow and my brother-in-law, Crazy Eddy, is coming over. He and are going to spend the afternoon making my famous "Duck Soup" (Steve Smith gave me the ducks). Also we've made more plans for outings and visits with other friends next week, including a Super Bowl party at Rob and Paula Jones place. Also, during all this, Maria found time to finish her latest sculpture and is firing it as we speak in preparation for another show in Lake Oswego. Lordy, I don't know where I ever found time to work? (Some might argue I never did).
Bottom Line. Even with the "not so good" news, Maria and I remain upbeat and optimistic. I'm back on the chemo and that's a good feeling -- knowing that there's a good chance we're kicking the crap out of the tumor and those pesky errant malignant cells that could cause trouble down the line. We're trying to get in some quality time with friends, stay busy, and tend to things that need tending to. So feel free to call, email, or drop by while I'm feeling pretty good - which won't last too much longer with the new chemo.
This disease might eventually beat me, but not this day -- not tomorrow -- and certainly not without one helluva fight.
If you want more detailed info, please go to the Diary. Take care!
Jan 28, 2007 There's a faint grey light in the east as another frosty day dawns on Chez Palensky. We are enjoying these clear, cold days, though yesterday it was in the low 60s, warm enough to have a pear and walnut salad with croissants on the deck when Ed, Julie, and my friend, Cathy, came to visit. It felt like spring! The little birds agreed as they continued their feeding frenzy on the suet, sunflower seed, and thistle feeders hanging from the mimosa tree. Even Dandy deigned to join us outside in the sunshine.
On a sadder note, I was impatient to finish that sculpture for the show next weekend, since it's the only piece I've been able to make after installing the big one in September. Impatience never pays. She wasn't ready and, therefore, exploded into dust in the kiln. So, I begin again today with a clean slate, reminded that everything must ripen in its own time. Luckily, she didn't feel a thing. I just wish I hadn't lost my camera and had taken a picture of her first. :-/
Meanwhile, John and I are enjoying the fact that he is feeling really good, energetic even, for the first time in months. It's so wonderful to see the sparkle back in his eyes! At the risk of sounding "ooey-gooey," as my Dad would say, the more I am around this man, the more I grow to love and respect him. He makes it possible to face everything that has happened and will happen as we manage what appears to be a chronic illness. Good to know that there will be times, like now, when he feels great, in between the treatments, so we have that to look forward to. And, as we both noted the other day, it's not entirely a bad thing to have the precious moments of life thrown into sharp focus. It surely makes a cold, crystal morning like this one even more beautiful!
Jan 29, 2007 I found my camera.
John and I drove out to Ed & Roxanne's today to pick up some of our Fermenting Friends wine. Larry, Gary, and Norm were working hard to prepare for bottling next weekend, so we didn't stick around too long, but it was a beautiful drive through the Oregon countryside and great to visit with the guys and Roxanne. John didn't sleep too well last night, as some of the random pains associated with the new chemo began to surface. He's napping right now so he'll be up for a visit/24 viewing with Rob & Paula tonight.